More Real life screwups!

1) Biggest screw-up: Perhaps, having taught son to read too early? In bookstore, 4 year old son sees book, yells across store to me, "Mom, where is the G spot?" The G Spot was then considered the ultimate place to send females into erotic bliss. Snickers and laughs rolled through the store. I replied, (yep, quick thinker, huh?) : "I don't know" He yells back, "Well, when you find out, will you show me?" More laughter. A screw-up? Not sure but boy...did I wish they put the erotica a bit further from the children's section of the store!

Anonymous

2) Well, the one day I had been talking to my ex-boyfriend, and he had asked me a question. I didn't hear him right and I was like did what did you just call me? And he was like no I didn't call you anything I had just asked you a question. And I was like oh okay! It was the most stupidest thing I had ever did! Now all he does is make fun of me and call me names!

Anonymous

3) When I was of the young age of 21, I worked on Park Avenue in New York city at a real estate brokerage firm. The office staff consisted of, the President and Vice President, both men, two executive secretaries (both women), a receptionist (me) and eight to ten salespeople, all men, all well off and all full of themselves.

I was the youngest, and being from upstate, perhaps the most impressionable. They male staff ranged in age from fifty-something to late twenties. All came from priveleged, well-to-do backgrounds, most were of Jewish ancestry and all were extreme chauvanists. They bragged about everything they did, every girl they had and treated the woman in the office like sex objects. If I knew then, what I know now. Every weekend was a trip to Montauk to their beach houses etc.

A few of the male staff took a liking to me, even though I was jailbait. One in particular, named, Joe, (no last name as his sister is actualy a well known newscaster) was in his thirties and he courted me and took me out and after a few weeks of intense dating, being taken out on the town, shown the high life, he promptly dumped me. It wasn't until after he dumped me that I found out that he did that with every new female employee. A few weeks later, another receptionist/clerical worker was hired from a temp agency. She was real cute and younger than I was. Well, he began taking her out and barely would speak with me.

It was this salespersons custom to take the female staff out for a night on the town once a year. He would pay for a limo and take everyone out for drinks, then for dinner and then to a club. That night came and we were all dressed up, there were five woman and him. We went to this very popular pub and had drinks. he was flirting horribly with this new young girl which burned me up. I was still fuming over the way he had treated me and knew I would somehow get even. WELL that night, my chance came. At the first pub, I met this guy who was really, seriously hot. I found out that he was some regular on a soap opera.

We made eye contact a few times, and spoke briefly. Joe was having the time of his life being doted on by the female office staff. He decided it was time to go, even though some of us wanted to stay. We went along, since he was running the show. When we got to the next place, I decided, I wanted to go back. I told one of the girls I was good friends with that I was taking the limo and going back. Since everyone in the office had been burned by him at one point, she thought this was great. They all covered for me.

I went outside, told the limo driver that Joe said, he could take me back to the other place and he promplty did, when we got there, I got out, asked one of the waitress to give the hot guy a note from me to meet me outside in the limo. Well, I guess, the limo impressed him. He came out and got in the limo with me. We were both very tipsy at this point. We spoke for a few minutes and then he kissed me. I was in heaven.... until the radio went off and it was Joe screaming at the limo driver asking him where the hell he was.? Needless to say, he was fuming. He couldn't believe that I had left with his limo. It was the best, bad thing I ever did.

For the next few weeks there was a lot?of chuckling in the office. All the male staff including the VP and President spoke with me and said, "good for you." The King of Sleeze," never expected the young, niave girl to do something so bold. Wish I could remember the name of the guy I kissed in the limo. What a night.

:) and it's all true.

Loretta

4) When I was younger, before my parents' split up, I spent a lot of time with kids who were two or more years younger then me. There weren't any other kids of my age around my townhouse and my friends, for the most part, preferred not to come over. I didn't blame them, even before the divorce my house was tense with the sort of anxiety that adults think they are hiding, but kids pick up on subconsciously. After the divorce I spent very little time with anyone-younger, older or my age. I was very bitter about how things finally went down and very angry with my mom for how she treated my dad (and wanted us to treat him). I would often sit in the park beside my grandmother's house (where my father lived) and just stare. I didn't know those kids at all, they didn't seem inclined to talk to me and I could sometimes hear them whispering about my family besides.

My teens years were the hardest for me to handle because I didn't see the point in the teen antics that my friends enjoyed. Why chase a guy? Why spend all of your month's allowance on shoes? What is the big deal if you are caught wearing the same shirt as some younger classmates? As I drifted away from them I drifted into the group of social outcasts and from there I entered a time of depression. The new people I had begun to hang out with weren't as worried about the stuff my old friends were, but they were involved in harder realities. Parents who abused them. Drugs. Sex. Alcohol. There was an odd imbalance to our friendship--they tried to keep me out of those harsher activities, but at the same time resented me for not being like them. I was so desperate to be liked and part of a group that I did everything I could think of to keep them happy. I made lunch for the group twice a week. I bought elaborate gifts and made cake for their birthdays. I did their homework. Let them talk me into games of chess (and then let them win). I put up with their verbal abuse, their dismissive attitude towards my problems and their condescending 'compliments' about how 'Very strong-willed you must be, always walking around with your head in a book and not caring if you don't find a date'.

The four years of my high school experience I was constantly teetering on the edge of extreme depression, really only restraining myself from falling into that black pit because I had a younger sister I needed to watch out for. Senior Prom though I thought I had it settled. At my friends' urging I had gotten a new dress, new shoes, spent money on my hair and nails and even on make up. I felt like such a clown honestly, but I sincerely believed in their encouraging remarks that I looked good. I was excited even because despite my cavalier attitude about never dating or being asked out in HS I was secretly romantic and hoped that some cute guy would ask me to dance.

Things fell apart pretty quickly actually. I was the only one in the group without a date so when we were announced at entering I heard snickers about the major domo's hesitation and ultimate 'Miss Alexandra Cenni, unescorted'. When we sat down there wasn't any room at my friends' table so I was seated by myself at another table nearby. When we went to get our pictures taken they took a group shot without me. I was determined to remain calm though. As the slow dances started I watched as each of my friends went to dance with their partners, trade partners, laughing and talking. I saw all my classmates dancing and laughing. Then, joy of joys, I was approached to dance by a younger man I didn't recognize from our school. He was very handsome and when I asked him who he was with he shrugged and said no one. (I found out much later I was the only unescorted person to the dance.)

We danced twice--the first time I tripped and nearly toppled us and the second I was much better. I felt kind of like the a romance heroine. I heard whispers all around me, but I ignored them because I thought they were jealous.

They weren't jealous.

He lead me out to the gazebo--after I had flashed a thumbs up to my smiling friends--and we were alone. I thought 'this is perfect'. I was so enamoured with the idea of a romance that when he turned me in his arms I thought he wanted to kiss me, except he turned me away from him, towards the railing. I was confused, but then he wrapped his arms around me and told me to smile for the camera. At the very last minute he pulled away and someone tossed grape juice on me. The picture snapped and two of my 'friends' came out. I was in shock. I must have sputtered something because the one, who I had just held a birthday celebration for not two weeks before, sneered at me that they were tired of my clingyness. Of my drab apperal and constant whining. They told me, in no uncertain terms, that they only put up with me because I bought them gifts and made them food. But with after the prom we began preparing for graduation and finals so they didn't need me anymore.

The guy, by the way, turned out to be one of their cousins. I think he might have felt bad when all was said and done, but I refused to talk to him.

My sister often asks me why I came home crying after prom, but I've told her, for the longest time now, that she was imagining things (she was only 8 at the time). If she has heard the story she hasn't mentioned it, neither has my younger brother (who was a sophmore then). I don't consider the prom or what happened at the prom the screw-up. I consider allowing myself to be mistreated and emotionally/verbally abused all those years as the screw-up. I let myself be too weak to break away out of fear and that is what lead to the prom.

--
Alexandra

Several months after I started working there, my boss announced that she was leaving for another company. I went in to her office to talk to her alone, and I expressed my happiness for her, but my sadness for myself since I'd miss her so much. She said, "Oh, I know you don't mean that. The walls are pretty thin around here." I said, "What do you mean?" and she said, "I know what you said about me, so don't pretend." I was floored. This was a woman I had so much admiration for and there she was, convinced that she'd overheard me badmouthing her. I tried to deny that I'd ever said anything bad about her, but she had all these reasons why she was absolutely certain (someone else had overheard me, she said. Someone she trusted.) I tried and tried to get her to tell me what she thought she'd heard, and to this day (many years later) I still don't know. I don't even know whether I did say anything negative about her, but because I'd spent so much time gossiping in general, there was no way for me to be sure.

Ever since then, I try really hard not to say anything negative about someone that I wouldn't also say directly to him or her, especially in an office. And I try to only close the door when I'm by myself and need to concentrate.

Anonymous

We came to a creek and that was as far as the path went and
I didn't want to go off the path. I told Lily that we had to go back. She has big brown eyes and brown hair. She pouted her lip and made her eyes bigger and they filled with tears. It was her face for when she doesn't get what she wants. Just imagine a little three year-old girl with huge brown eyes filled with tears and short brown hair in two ponytails, and her lip was pouting out. It's very hard to resist.

I said no and walked away but she stayed. I tried to pick her up but she started kicking and hitting me trying to get away. I got her up and she started screaming. This wasn't very easy. I told her that when we get to her house she could have ice cream. It didn't work. She shook her head but she did stop screaming and kicking. I put her back down but before I could get a hold of her hand she ran towards the creek.

The water was to high for Lily and she couldn't swim. I yelled for her not to jump but she did. Once her head went under the water I started running to go in the water. The water was moving fast and Lily didn't come back up. I ran into the water and I found nothing. I was scared but not of getting in trouble or losing my job, I was scared she was going to die. I liked Lily and I would miss her. My tears were making my vision blurry, I was starting to freak out, then I saw something move in the water. I ran to it and picked it up. It was Lily. Thank God! She was coughing and crying and barley breathing. I carried her to the ground and layed her on the ground. I moved her hair away from her face and she started coughing more and more, tears rolling down her face. I was so glad that she was alive! When she stopped coughing I picked her up and walked back to the house. I whispered in her ear "That's why you listen to what you're told".

Anonymous

I typed it in a waited as the phone rang. I didn't think that anyone would answer since my grandma said that it didn't work. "Hello, 911, what's your emergency?" I jumped when the male voice spoke and hung up the phone as fast as possible. I walked away to the room that I slept in and waited. I wondered why the phone had worked when my grandma said that it wouldn't. I was a little scared for what would happen. My first thought was I was going to get in trouble with my parents then my second thought was...I'm going to jail!

I jumped at every creak the old house made. I was going to get in trouble and I knew it. I decided to lay down on the bed. After a while the phone rang. There was a thunderstorm outside so no body heard it but me. I didn't want to get in trouble so I didn't let anybody know. Everyone else was in the basement so they wouldn't hear it through all the thunder. My head turned to the window when I saw lightning. It seemed very close to the house so I ran to go downstairs where my grandma and grandpa were. It's kind of strange how when you were little adults could solve all the problems. We all went upstairs to the couch and I fell asleep.

I woke up when I heard sirens. I was still tired and my mind wasn't really working. If I was more awake I would have been freaking out because I called the cops like an hour ago and now I can hear them. Then I heard knocks on our door and I jumped up right away, it scared me. The rain was pouring hard now but they heard it. My grandma got the door and it was a police. I went back to sleeping, I pretended to sleep. I thought that maybe if I sleep now they will forget about it and I won't get in any trouble. I listened to my grandparents and the police talk. The police understood that it was just an accident and left. Maybe they thought that it wasn't me. Who knows? I was just glad that I wasn't going to get arrested, but I would have to deal with my parents when I get home. I wasn't scared anymore so I got up. Big mistake. My grandma knew it was me and she was going to tell my parents. I wanted to disappear...

Anonymous

A heinous screw-up at the time.

Suzi

9) I was waiting tables at a fine dining Italian restaurant. A well dressed couple requested to sit in my section. It wasn't unusual, customers often came in and requested the waitperson who served them last time. The restaurant was Friday night busy, I greeted the couple at the romantic corner candle lit table and asked them if they would like something to drink. She said "Jeff, just pick us out a nice bottle of wine." I figured "Woo-Hoo big tip", ran off without looking back and started to think about all the other things I had to do for my other tables. When I returned to present the bottle of wine, I noticed the beautiful ring on the lady's finger. I was just about to get engaged and was shopping seriously for a ring. I asked her politely where she got the ring. And she said.

"Jeff it's me Tammy, and you bought me this engagement ring two years ago."

Youch, she thought I was kidding - but I really didn't look at them, her hair was different, I was on work auto-pilot, and I totally didn't recognize her!

Jeff

Christina