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And Yet Even More Real life screwups! 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |Pg 1 | Pg 2 | Pg 3 | Pg 4 | Pg 5 | Pg 6 | Pg 8 | Pg 9 | Top of page 1) "A sweltering day in the end of August brought with it a day holed up in the cool, shady barn, with my favorite pony. Snoopy was standing in the aisle peacefully swishing flies, happy to be out of the blazing heat. I had finished all of my grooming but wasn't ready to leave my shelter yet, so I went searching for something else to do. I scoured the cupboards and shelves for something I had missed, forgotten. Nothing. Frustrated, I swirled back to my pony, and as I did a flash of light caught my eye, nearly blinding me. I turned slowly, squinting against the glare, and I found what I was looking for. A spectacular pair of sharp, shiny shears glistened in the top most basket. Just out of reach. No worries. I had a stool. I grabbed that last tool that I had searched long and hard for. Just a few hairs here¦ *snip* and a few there *snip, snip* and a couple over here *hack, chop, whack,* From out the door I heard a noise. Step, step, step. I looked back at Snoopy's mane. Half of it was laying, scattered and severed, on the barn floor. The part still attached to his neck was a good four inches shorter, and very wavy. And now came mom. I was in trouble. Sure she yelled, and sure Snoop's mane was closer to roached than any other horses I had ever had. But the worst part wasn't the grounding or the humiliating scrap book page, but rather the experience three days later at the Allegan County Fair." 2) "It was a spring night around 1 o'clock a.m. It was a little warmer out than normal. A bunch of us were hanging out, having a bonfire with just guys. We thought that it was starting to get a little boring. So, we threw a "TAG" spray can into the fire. We backed up about twenty feet to wait for the explosion. All of us heard a hissing sound, and everyone was saying, "Is that all?" I told them to stay back for another minute or so, because that wasn't it. David started walking towards the fire, when as soon as he got up to it, BOOM!!! The fire exploded right in his face. It made a miniature mushroom cloud. The explosion sounded like a gunshot, and instantly, both neighbors turned on their lights. It was probably the worst thing that we've done after midnight, ever." Julian 3) "It sat in its three wheel glory three shelves high above me. I knew I was almost triple the recommended age for the tricycle, but it looked like so much fun. I reached up and dislodged it from its resting place. It tipped and fell over, but I caught it before it smashed the ground. The frame was painted red like and albino’s eyes. I set it down and stepped over it. Slowly, I lowered my weight onto the seat. With a low creek of the metal under my weight, I moved my feet to the pedals. My shoes were longer than the wheels themselves, I crammed my knees under the handle bars and slowly started to pedal. I picked up speed and turned right, out of the bicycle isle. The faster I went the bigger my smile grew. Suddenly a cart jumped out in front of me, like a deer in front of a car. I tried to pedal backwards and engage the brakes, but my knees wouldn’t move out from underneath the handle bars. I closed my eyes and braced for impact. A metallic ringing and then… breaking glass! I stood up from the wreckage. There was no one around. Whose cart was that? I didn’t know but I sure wasn’t waiting to find out. I turned and ran for the door. I sprinted past the door man and he hollered goodnight after me. I laughed because if he would have known how I destroyed part of the store, he would not have let me leave so easily." 4) "The day was hot and humid. The lady at the gate gave me a short club. The sun was in my eyes; I was squinting for a clear shot. I aimed, and swung. I was playing miniature golf with two of my friends, AJ and Chris. Chris got a hole-in-one, AJ (if I remember right), a hole-in-three. It was a simple course. There was the classic windmill hole, a “shoot the ball through the tunnel” hole, and others. This particular hole was just a semi-strait patch of grass with a bolder in the center. My ball went hurtling off into the nearby bushes. I ran
after it before it rolled into the car filled parking lot. It
wasn’t hard to find, getting it was. As it turned out, a
bird’s nest was in the same bush that the ball fell in.
The ball scarred the mother and when I reached my hand into it,
blindly, the mother bird was threatened. I don’t know what
type of bird it was, but it was aggressive. It began pecking at
my fingers. I jerked my hand back, trying to look like I knew
what was going on. Confused about why that just happened, I climbed
over the short, wooden fence. I carefully reached my hand into
the opposite side of the bush and retrieved my ball. I raced back
to the hole and found my friends laughing. “Fine,” he agreed and crossed out my penalty. “What’s up?” I had asked him. 5) "It was December, my brother and I had no school because we got dumped on with snow, a foot at least. It was cool at first, but then my mom said we had to go out and shovel the driveway because she didn't know when the plow guy was coming. We open the garage door and see that we have quite a bit of work ahead of us. So I have this brilliant idea to pack the snow down with the quad. I don't know what I was thinking. So I get on and back out or whatever but then of course my brother has to get on too. So we go all through our driveway and then we come back to the garage and I pull in trying to circle around and the since the tires were all slippery the tires slipped and I had no control and we roll and hit the metal garage door thing that helps track the wheels up and down. (An important piece!) OH NO! I'M IN SO MUCH TROUBLE! Well both my parents weren't home so I run and grab all my dad's tools. I try to pound the big dent down with like every tool ever made, finally I get it bent in enough that the garage door will go up and down. Still a pretty noticeable dent in there though, so my brother and I make a pact never to tell. We still haven't and it's been a while. My dad did notice, but believed us when we said we have no clue what happened so he got it permantanly fixed and no one ever found out!" Lauren 6) "My brother was in Junior High at the time and he was not one of those overly big dudes. When you are not an overly big dude, its very important to act the part. To show his manliness, he would often walk up to my mother and simultaneously "pretend" to lambast her with a right hook while heavily thumping his chest. The corresponding noise gave the effect that he had just decked his mother. My mother, one cool cucumber, always stood her ground without blinking and calmly told him that "he had better never miss." He usually walked away strutting his big dude stuff and feeling pretty good. One day I was standing in the kitchen with my mother when she started to ride me about something annoying, in one quick as a jedi move I turned and extended my right hook, thumped my chest and proceeded to cold cock my mother. The look on our faces was priceless and we had to peel each other off the floor, we were laughing so hard. She was a good sport. My brother walked by and for the life of him couldn't figure out what was soooooo funny." Kim 7) "I was baking brownies for my cousin's Birthday when I made a horrible mistake. I started out fine following the directions on the back of the box. This time I even remembered to turn on the oven. I started to pour the thick, chocolaty batter into the pan. As the last little bit drizzled out of the bowl I realized that I had forgot to spray the pan. I tried to think of a quick way to fix it. I'd decided that I would just pour it back into the bowl and start over. So, in fact, I did. However, it turned out to be a huge mess! I suppose more brownie batter ended up on the kitchen counter than in the newly greased pan. When it was all said and done no one noticed I'd made a mistake. The funny thing is, now I want to be a pastry chef. 8) "It was a scolding hot day in Colorado. We were on our annual family vacation, and like most days at our campground, I decided to go swimming in the pond. The pond water was refreshing, and I spent an hour or so wading around and enjoying myself. After I was cooed off, I thought a nice relaxing boat ride sounded like fun. So I went over to the spot where the campground had kept the small row boats, and I pushed it into the water. About five minutes of rowing, and disaster had struck. Water was seeping into the holes at the bottom, and I didn’t know if it was normal or not. Soon I was panicking. Using my best judgment, I jumped out of the boat before it took me down with it, and SMACK! I had jumped right onto the bottom of the pond. I hadn’t realized the water was only about two feet deep. Embarrassed and a little sore from hitting the bottom, I walked out of the pond, dragged the boat back to shore, and acted like nothing ever happened. 9) "When I was up by Torch Lake, Michigan, we had these ki-aks that came with the rented house. So one day me and my cousin went to go out onto the lake. I, of course, just had to be first. Runining down to the dock with my eyes foucsed intenitvely
on the sea-green ki-ak. Once i got down there I threw the ki-ak
into the water near the dock. My cousin yelled "Hey! Wait
up, let me help," but i thought he ment to cheat me out of
my victory. I think my whole family will continue to laugh about this, I will probably hear it at my own funeral. Steven 10) "It was going to be and ordinary party, just like all the other ones. I set up the chairs and go all the burnable stuff in the fire. I got the marshmallows, Hershey’s chocolate, and the graham crackers. It was getting about that time when everyone was showing up and it was getting dark. We started one side of the fire because we wanted it to last long because it was a huge pile of stuff. We all sat around the fire talking and laughing about stupid stuff. Then we saw a shot come up out of the fire and then it sounded like an automatic machine gun. There was things’ shooting out of the fire everyone ran or ducked for cover. I couldn’t believe my fire was shooting at us. Then someone screamed and started rolling on the ground. My cousin had a piece land on his shirt and catch it on fire. It was finally over we all couldn’t believe that I accidently put he fireworks in the fire I was so embarrassed. We all laughed and it was time for everyone to go home."
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