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“You
laughing at me?” The disembodied voice is clearly addressing
me.
“Huh…?!” I turn away
from the tracks.
“You’re laughing at me?
“No…”
Who the hell is talking to me? I have
to scan the entire subway platform before I find the voice. Twisted
staircase, black gum covered tile walls, infested concrete pit…
and then, ah, the source of the paranoid voice. He’s right
beside me, but he’s sitting on the floor, which is why I didn’t
see him.
He looks like a blonde ferret. Stringy
unwashed hair and huge eyes, jeans that are barely recognizable,
stained white T-shirt, huge red overshirt, ratty old sweater…
The sneakers, one converse and one Nike, are both untied and the
layers are all partially buttoned even though it’s got to
be one hundred degrees in the subway. The guy is so filthy I can
hardly look at him. I mean, he’s caked - looks like an old
war victim from some black and white film.
There’s one more thing I notice
- and if I’m telling the truth I should admit that I noticed
it first. He’s the skinniest person I’ve ever seen.
Even in all those layers, the kid is skinny.
“You mocking me?” I say, angry.
I want to say it with a snarl, but when your cheeks are puffy you
don’t snarl, you huff. A little puff of air escapes despite
my best intentions and I end up sounding like an overweight dog
farting. My eyes dart and I think, “did that sound funny?”
The kid laughs. His face wrinkles and
he looks even more like a ferret. He says, “now that was funny.”
Except he doesn’t hold his non-existent stomach and howl.
And he doesn’t try to keep a straight face to be nice while
obviously choking on suppressed hysteria. He says it straight out.
Makes me think. A little puff of air while I was trying to be tough?
I guess it is funny. The dirty, skinny kid got it right.
I’m ready to give him full credit
and be on my way, mosey along to contemplate some new non-funny
form of suicide, (Fat Kid Gets Hit By a Bus?) but the blonde ferret
stands up and extends a grimy hand.
“Curt MacCrae,” he says. That’s
when I just about piss my pants.
Curt MacCrae is a legend at W.T. Watson
High School. He’s the only truly homeless, sometimes student,
sometimes dropout, punk rock, artist, god among us. He’s the
only one who’s ever played a concert at The Dump. The only
one that bands like The Trees and KingPin invite to hang with them.
He’s the only one to get into five fights in one day, get
the crap beaten out of him in all five and still have everyone’s
respect. He’s the only fucking genius guitar player I’ve
ever met. And, of course, he’s the only one to get up in the
middle of class on a Tuesday and disappear for good. Kids at school
loved that.
Since then, no one’s actually seen
Curt MacCrae, and that was last year. The school newspaper took
a poll and three quarters of the student body think he’s dead.
Everyone refers to him as the Blair Witch of the Lower East Side.
And I just shook his hand.
“Troy,” I say. “Troy
Billings.” It comes out star struck and I frown a little to
compensate. “I know your music. I mean, I heard a bootleg
of a show you played with Smack Metal Puppets. It was so great.
Really great. Really, really great.”
Curt makes a face, then glances at the
tracks. He walks sideways two steps and cocks his head, thinking
hard. The F train speeds into the station and the Sunday afternoon
crowd climbs into the empty train. I should’ve thrown myself
in front of it, but now I’m left standing there, awkward.
“That’s my train,” I
say. I need to split before I do anything stupid. Anything else
stupid.
Curt grins. “Hell it is.”
“What?”
“You owe me lunch.”
“What?” This, the only word
in my vocabulary.
He hops twice.
“I just saved your life. It’s
the least you could do.”
He says it matter-of-fact and I’m
confused. I’m standing there sweating and I wonder if I smell.
God knows he does. He reeks.
“I owe you lunch?” I say,
further solidifying the impression that I am a moron incapable of
conversation.
“Yeah. Mmmhmm. Handicapped elevator’s
this way.” He shrugs in no particular direction and takes
off. I’m insulted about the elevator comment and he’s
completely wrong about saving my life, but I’m hungry and
by some freak occurrence in the universe Curt MacCrae appears to
want to have lunch with me. So, I go.
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